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MISYAR MARRIAGE
Sunni muslims now trying to legalise short term limited marriage contract for pleasure of both parties.
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Part time marriage the rage in Egypt
AFP - 12 October 1998 #
Unorthodox but legal, this form of wedlock provides solace and social status for women who would otherwise remain as spinsters
"In traditional marriages the bride leaves home to live with her husband, who must meet all the financial needs of the family. In this union, it is the opposite," said Cairo
This unorthodox coupling, which has grown in popularity in recent months and become the subject of much debate in Egypt, appears to get around the age-old problem of eligible women turning gradually into spinsters when no man asks for their hand. Said the attorney: "Tradition calls for unions to be made within the family circle, and this limits a girl's chance to find a husband.
"As a result, many become old maids."
Being married also gives women a higher status in an Islamic society. Ms Nahid, 46, formed a passers-by marriage to become the second wife of a married man.
She said: "The concierge, the grocer and the neighbours show more respect towards me now than when I was single.
"It suits me fine. I have to travel a lot because of my work, and not having a husband at home means I'm not tied down and can move when the job calls."
The interpreter said she sees her husband three or four times a week.
That kind of convenience is appealing to more and more Egyptians of both sexes.
Newspaper columnist Salah Muntasser said that after she wrote about a woman looking for a passers-by marriage, she was deluged with letters from readers.
"Most of the comments I received were favourable," she said.
Popular preacher Sheikh Yussef al-Qaradawi, whose opinion is followed widely, said recently he would tolerate the passers-by marriage.
"This marriage is lawful even if it is not accepted by society. I do not encourage it, but I cannot prohibit it," he said.
And, perhaps even more than in traditional unions, passers-by marriages include their fair share of compromise. Said Ms Nahid: "A normal marriage would have been better but sometimes you don't have a choice.
"I worked hard to build a career and this was my priority. But when you get to a certain age in this society you must make a concession.
"Marriage is a form of protection for women."
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THE GUARDIAN, 16 August 2009.
A PROPOSAL SAUDIS CAN’T REFURE
It may be the world's most puritanical kingdom but there are still legal ways to have sex on the side
Misyar is a form of marriage that allows couples to live separately but come together for sexual relations. For the women who accept it – spinsters, divorcees and widows – it's a something-is-better-than-nothing option, though they waive almost all the rights that a normal Muslim marriage entitles them to. For men it offers an opportunity for a bit of fun on the side, in secret, and at a huge discount.
Reasons for popularity of misyar include the high cost of marriage – the dowry, several dinners, parties, decoration of a flat or a villa and the honeymoon. All this may set back the groom by several hundred thousand riyals. Misyar for cash-strapped men is a boon.
Hamdan, a Saudi colleague of mine back in Jeddah – distraught and depressed after the break-up of his first marriage – entered into a succession of misyar marriages. None lasted for more than six months. He confided that he had hoped to find a compatible partner for a permanent relationship but it didn't work out. He also said that misyar wives are crafty and inclined to extract money and gifts. In his words: misyar marriages are not cost-effective. The colleague is now married again – in a normal marriage – and hopes to live happily ever after.
Thanks to Bluetooth technology, friendly websites and an abundance of furnished apartments in major cities like Riyadh
and Jeddah, there are tales of misyar wives who have clandestinely entered into more than one misyar contract. These enlightened ladies say misyar husbands never tell their full-time wives about their relationships so why can't misyar wives have similar arrangements? Clerics view this as a dangerous trend.
Website ads for misyar marriages often reveal the immaturity and desperation of those looking for partners:
• Young man, 21, excellent monthly income, seeks marriage as soon as possible to single girls up to 70 kgs, living in Jeddah.
• Saudi clerk, 38, from a well-known family, seeks pretty, white, delicate, businesswoman or clerk for misyar marriage. With Allah's help, if things work out, the marriage will be official.
• Accountant, 30, seeks misyar marriage with Saudi woman. Age, experience, number of children, widow or single or divorced unimportant. What is important is her ability to satisfy the needs of a man who desires things permitted by religion (halal).
Misyar is popular in the kingdom because in a society where extramarital and premarital sex is a cardinal sin it legitimises sexual relations outside the framework of conventional marriage. It was legalised through a fatwa (religious edict) issued by late Sheikh Abdulaziz bin Baz, then the chief mufti of Saudi Arabia
. 'Urfi (unofficial marriage) in
The Egyptian Centre for Women's Rights says misyar is an insult to both men and women and a sanction for the trafficking of women. Clerical opinions vary.
Yusuf al-Qaradawi, the Qatar-based Egyptian scholar, says:
“Misyar should be viewed as a form of legal relationship beween man and woman regardless of any description attached to it ... But I do have to make it clear that the aforementioined statement does not make me a protagonist of misyar marriage ... There is no doubt that such marriage may be somehow socially unacceptable, but there is a big difference between what is Islamically valid and what is socially acceptable.”
Emirates-based scholar Sheikh Ahmad al-Kubaisi says that while misyar marriage is correct Islamically, it also compromises some values. Al-Kubaisi believes that misyar can solve the high rate of spinsterhood in the Arab countries:
“The only difference (with a normal marriage) is that the woman abandons voluntarily her right to housing and support money. There is nothing wrong in relinquishing one's own rights.”
In 2006, after years of deliberation and a fair degree of dissent, the Mecca-based Muslim World League's constituent body, the Islamic Jurisprudence Council ruled that misyar marriage was legal. Samirah, a Saudi media personality (not her real name) described the decision as unfortunate. She thought the jurists had a difficult problem to resolve but this wasn't the best way out. Rula Dashti, head of the Kuwaiti Economic Society describes misyar as an arrangement that destroys the fundamentals of family. Ghada Jamshir, a Bahraini activist who lobbies for reduction of clerical influence in family affairs, thinks liberals should object to misyar marriages.
To misyar or not to misyar? Saudi society is certainly confused on this issue, as is apparent from the following conversation reported in a Saudi newspaper:
Years ago, I overheard one of my son's friends talking about marriage and girls and he asked: 'Why buy a cow when milk is free?' They were talking about loose girls and there not being any meed for marriage with them around," said a university professor.
With misyar marriage, haven't we just legalised the 'why-buy-the-milk-when-the-cow-is-free' syndrome? And we are supposed to be civilised?
In Islam all acts – including misyar – are judged and will be judged on the merit of motives and intentions.
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# Nikah Misyar
Nikah Misyar is a Nikah (marriage) carried out via the normal contractual procedure, with the specificity that the husband and wife give up several rights by their own free will, such as living together, equal division of nights between wives in cases of polygamy, the wife's rights to housing, and maintenance money ("nafaqa"), and the husband's right of homekeeping, and access etc.
Essentially the couple continue to live separately from each other, as before their contract, and see each other to fulfil their needs in a permissible (halaal) manner when they please.
Sheikh Ahmed al-Kubaissi from the United Arab Emirates
thinks there is no formal problem with 'misyar' marriage. It fulfils all the demands of Islamic law. Nevertheless, he describes it as contrary to the norms of decent Islamic life.
Background and causesSome people consider that the misyar marriage can meet the needs of young people whose resources are too limited to settle down in a separate home; of divorcees, widows or widowers, who have their own residence and their own financial resources but cannot, or do not want to marry again according to the usual formula; and of slightly elder people who have not tasted the joys of marriage.
Islamic lawyers add that this type of marriage fits the needs of a conservative society which punishes “zina” (fornication) and other sexual relationships which are established outside a marriage contract. Thus, some Muslim foreigners working in the Persian Gulf
countries prefer to engage in the misyar marriage rather than live alone for years. Many of them are actually already married with wives and children in their home country, but they cannot bring them to the region[citation needed].
Misyar marriage in practice
The Sheikh of al-Azhar Mosque, Muhammad Sayyid Tantawi, and theologian Yusuf Al-Qaradawi, note in their writings and in their lectures, that a major proportion of the men who take a spouse in the framework of the misyar marriage are already married men.
Legality of misyar marriage
Misyar marriage fits within the general rules of marriage in Sunni law, on condition merely that it fulfil all the requirements of the Shariah marriage contract i.e.:
The agreement of both parties.
Two legal witnesses (Shahidain).
The payment by the husband to his wife of Mahr in the amount that is agreed.
The absence of a fixed time period for the contract.
Shuroot, any particular stipulations which the two parties agree to include in the contract and which are in conformity with Muslim marriage law.
Moreover, as explained by the Saudi Islamic lawyer Abdullah bin Sulaiman bin Menie, a member of the Higher Council of Ulema of Saudi Arabia, the wife can denounce at any time, as she sees fit, her renunciation of her financial rights, and require of her husband that he give her all her rights, including that he live with her and provide for her financial needs ("nafaqa"). The husband can then either do so, or grant her a divorce.
For these reasons, Professor Yusuf Al-Qaradawi observes that he does not promote this type of marriage, although he has to recognise that it is legal, since it fulfils all the requirements of the usual marriage contract.[5] He states his preference that the clause of renunciation be not included within the marriage contract, but be the subject of a simple verbal agreement between the parties. He underlines the fact that Muslims are held by their commitments, whether they are written or verbal.
Criticism of misyar
Islamic scholars like Ibn Uthaimeen or Al-Albani claim, for their part, that misyar marriage may be legal, but not moral. They agree that the wife can at any time, reclaim the rights which she gave up at the time of contract. But, they are opposed to this type of marriage on the grounds that it contradicts the spirit of the Islamic law of marriage and that it has perverse effects on the woman, the family and the community in general.
For Al-Albani, misyar marriage may even be considered as illicit, because it runs counter to the objectives and the spirit of marriage in Islam, as described in this verse from the Quran :
“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts)…”
Al-Albani also underlines the social problems which result from the “misyar” marriage, particularly in the event that children are born from this union. The children raised by their mother in a home from which the father is always absent, without reason, may suffer difficulties. The situation becomes even worse if the wife is abandoned or repudiated by her husband "misyar", with no means of subsistence, as usually happens.
"Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about Misyaar marriage; this kind of marriage is where the man marries a second, third or fourth wife, and the wife is in a situation that compels her to stay with her parents or one of them in her own house, and the husband goes to her at various times depending on the circumstances of both. What is the Islamic ruling on this type of marriage?
He replied:
"There is nothing wrong with that if the marriage contract fulfills all the conditions set out by sharee’ah, which is the presence of the wali and the consent of both partners, and the presence of two witnesses of good character to the drawing up of the contract, and both partners being free of any impediments, because of the general meaning of the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “The conditions that are most deserving of being fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you” and “The Muslims are bound by their conditions.” If the partners agree that the woman will stay with her family or that her share of the husband’s time will be during the day and not during the night, or on certain days or certain nights, there is nothing wrong with that, so long as the marriage is announced and not hidden"."
Shaykh al-Albaani was asked about Misyaar marriage and he disallowed it for two reasons:
1) That the purpose of marriage is repose as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect” [al-Room 30:21]. But this is not achieved in this kind of marriage.
2) It may be decreed that the husband has children with this woman, but because he is far away from her and rarely comes to her, that will be negatively reflected in his children’s upbringing and attitude.
As for Ibn Uthaymeen, he recognizes the legality of “misyar” marriage from the Shariah standpoint, but considers that it should be opposed because it has been turned into a real merchandise that is being marketed on a large scale by “marriage agencies”, with no relation to the nature of Islamic marriage.
Critics of this marriage observe, more generally, that this type of marriage usually ends up in divorce. As a result the wife finds herself abandoned, forced to lead a solitary life as she had before the marriage, but traumatized by the experience, while her social status and reputation degraded.
The proponents of the misyar marriage, though they recognize that it can result in problems, observe that it doesn’t have a monopoly on them. The problems result, more generally, from the way in which people apply the rules of the Shariah.
Today, in a large number of Muslim countries, there are official family and marriage law codes whose provisions wouldn't allow the conclusion of a marriage of the misyar type. However, in a number of Gulf States
essentially, misyar marriage is accepted by the community and is usually arranged privately through a notary with no publicity.
[Source: Wiki 2012.]
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Misyar Marriage — a Marvel or Misery?
# Somayya Jabarti - Arab News, 5 June, 2005
JEDDAH, 5 June 2005 — To some, it’s an unthinkable act; for others, it’s better than loneliness, but in what is otherwise a conservative culture, misyar marriage goes against the grain. Misyar marriage is a legal alternative marital arrangement more Saudi men and women are using to offset prohibitive marriage costs and the stigma unmarried women face.
In a misyar marriage the woman waives some of the rights she would enjoy in a normal marriage. Most misyar brides don’t change their residences but pursue marriage on a visitation basis. Some marriage officials say seven of 10 marriage contracts they conduct are misyar, and in some cases are asked to recommend prospective misyar partners. Most of the women opting for misyar either are divorced, widowed or beyond the customary marriage age. The majority of men who take part in such marital arrangements are already married.
“All the misyar marriage contracts I conduct are between men and women remarrying,” said Abu Fawaz, who’s been a marriage official for four years. “For a misyar marriage all you need is witnesses, her dowry and the acceptance of both parties. Usually the woman either has her own place or lives with her family. Most of the time the woman’s family knows while the man’s family is in the dark about it, be it his first wife or any other family members.”
Arab News surveyed 30 Saudi men and women aged 20-40 regarding misyar marriage. Over 60 percent of the men surveyed would consider misyar marriage for themselves with the majority of the respondents in their 20s. Those who would not consider it for themselves would not allow it for kin, be it sisters, brothers, sons or daughters. However, among the men who would consider it themselves, only two would find such a marriage acceptable for a female relative.
“If I allowed myself to marry another man’s sister or daughter ‘misyarically’ then it would only be fair to accept the same for my own female kin,” said Mohammad H. “It’s a double standard for men to accept it for themselves and other men but not the females. After all, if we all took up the same policy then who would we marry — each other?”The reasons men gave for favoring misyar most often related to cost, with some asking “why not?” “I get to maintain all my rights, but I don’t have to take care of her financially and don’t even have to provide a house for her,” said 25-year-old Rayan Abdullah, an unmarried medical student at the city university. “It’s a great solution — isn’t it? It costs less than having a girlfriend — doesn’t it?” Or is it a male convenience in a male-dominated culture?
“What are the things most of us married men complain about?” asked Ghazi Ahmad, a 38-year-old husband and father of three children. “Don’t all of us constantly complain about the financial burdens, the lack of personal freedom — the routine patterns? Then this is the best marriage ever as far as I’m concerned. Married but not married — perfect.”
The opinions of women respondents about misyar marriage were a sharp contrast to the males’. More than 86 percent of the women 20-40 would not even consider such a marriage for themselves. Only four women — all in the over-40 category — would consider such marriages for themselves or relatives. Most of the women respondents called it “legal prostitution” or objected to the lack of women’s rights in misyar marriages.
“I’m set in my ways,” said a 42-year-old bank manager who chose to call herself Muna Saad. “I live with my mother and couldn’t tolerate the idea of leaving her to live alone, and I’m comfortable financially. At the same time, I’d love to get married,” Muna said. “I also think it would be amusing for the roles to be reversed and sort of ‘own’ the man for a change and having him owe me rather than the other way around.”
Despite optimistic expectations, such marriages are not always blissful. Former and current misyar spouses said it can become a nightmare if pregnancy results from the union or if there are already children from former marriages. With most misyar marriages rooted in secrecy, the husband is only a ghostly figure occasionally seen. Once a child is conceived, the luxury of secrecy disappears.
“My second misyar marriage was doing fine despite my hawk of a first wife,” said Abu Abdul Rahman. “But that was only until my second wife got pregnant, and then the real nightmare began. She wanted to announce our relationship publicly because it put her in bad situations societally — you can’t be single and pregnant. I had to tell my family and my wife, and all hell broke loose. Now both marriages are on the rocks.”
There can be other unforeseen consequences of secrecy. “I’d been married misyarically for almost a year when members of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice paid me a terrible visit accusing me of prostitution,” said a 35-year old divorcee and mother of two who chose to call herself Warda. “They wanted to drag me to the police station even though I kept shoving the marriage contract in their faces. I had to call my brother — with whom I wasn’t on speaking terms. It was terrible. I hated myself and hated all men — my children were 6- and 7-years-old.”
A social worker who frequents the courts denounced misyar marriage. “The courts are overflowing with problems from regular marriages regarding financial obligations that husbands ignore, custody problems and alimony,” she said. “There is a horrible, growing problem in enforcing the law upon neglectful husbands and fathers. How can anyone legalize a procedure such as misyar marriage that will make room for more irresponsibility?” the social worker asked.
“Unfortunately, misyar marriage has made it easier for irresponsible, immature individuals to enter a relationship that is supposed to be based on credibility, reliability and respect,” said Abu Zaid, an elderly marriage official. “This isn’t the case. It’s treated as a temporary solution for lust. That’s not what marriage is all about. In regular polygamy all wives have exactly the same rights over the husband, be it financial, be it regarding time spent together or being public. Women think that misyar marriage is for their benefit when in fact on a long-term basis, they pay the price and not just from their pockets but from their emotions, as well.”
Many parents and children of misyar wives stated that they felt the woman as being sold short in such a marriage. Parents mostly said that the only reason they accepted the situation was in recognition of their daughters as adult women with their own needs and their right to respond to such needs. “I begged my divorced daughter not to marry a suitor who proposed a misyar marriage,” said Abu Fahda. “At the end, I gave in because I didn’t want to be the reason for her having an unlawful relationship with a man. I’m an adult, and I know she has her needs, but I’d be lying if I said that I have any respect for this stranger who comes to my house for intimacy with my daughter. I even have trouble looking her in the face,” he said. “My neighbor’s niece was married misyarically for a while, and then when the husband was done with her he just left her — just like that.”
Abu Fahda’s grandchildren share his sentiments — especially sadness. “I don’t know who this man is — this man who comes to our house and spends time with my mother,” said the 6-year-old boy. “He’s not my father, and he can’t be her husband because fathers and husbands live with their families.”
For sociologists, misyar marriage is a head-scratcher. “What are we telling others about our self-worth, and what are we telling our children about the significance and meaning of family?” asked Dr. Nahid L. “Marriage is about in-depth relationships — not just copulation. Why are more women willing to forgo what is theirs just to be ‘called’ or falsely feel married?” When marriage was created it was to ensure that no one gets anything for free. “Each, husband and wife, has duties and rights — and even in regular marriages women are already taken for granted. Marriage isn’t just about sex. Misyar marriage is only going to make things worse as far as I’m concerned.”
Some say society must consider other alternatives. “If they want to really solve the issue of unmarried women instead of making it easier for men to marry repeatedly and cheaply, they should make it easier for Saudi women to marry non-Saudis,” said a school teacher. “Years ago in college, I overheard one of my son’s friends talking about marriage and girls, and he asked ‘why buy the cow when the milk is free?’ They were talking about loose girls and there not being any need for marriage with them around,” said a university professor. “With misyar marriage, haven’t we just legalized the ‘why-buy-the-milk-when-the-cow-is-free’ syndrome? And we’re supposed to be civilized?”
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# Misyar marriage: definition and rulings
Question:
Misyaar marriage was mentioned on your website.
What is this marriage?
Is it halaal or haram?
Answer:
Praise be to Allaah.
Firstly:
Misyaar marriage is where a man does a shar’i marriage contract with a woman, meeting the conditions of marriage, but the woman gives up some of her rights such as accommodation, maintenance or the husband’s staying overnight with her.
The reasons that have led to the emergence of this kind of marriage are many, such as:
1.
Increase in the number of single women who are unable to get married, because young men are put off marriage due to the high cost of dowries and the costs of marriage, or because there is a high divorce rate. In such circumstances, some women will agree to be a second or third wife and to give up some of their rights.
2.
Some women need to stay in their family home, either because they are the only care-givers for family members, or because the woman has a handicap and her family do not want the husband to be burdened with something he cannot bear, and he stays in touch with her without having to put too great a burden on himself, or because she has children and cannot move with them to her husband’s house, and other reasons.
3.
Some married men want to keep some women chaste because they need that, or because they need variety and halaal pleasure, without that affecting the first wife and her children.
4.
In some cases a husband may want to conceal his second marriage from his first wife, for fear of the consequences that may result and affect their relationship.
5.
The man travels often to a certain place and stays there for lengthy periods. Undoubtedly staying there with a wife is safer for him than not doing so.
These are the most prominent reasons for the emergence of this kind of marriage.
Secondly:
The scholars differed concerning the ruling on this type of marriage, and there are several opinions, ranging from the view that it is permissible, to the view that it is permitted but makrooh, or that it is not allowed. Here we should point out several things.
1.
None of the scholars have said that it is invalid or is not correct; rather they disallowed it because of the consequences that adversely affect the woman, as it is demeaning to her, and that affects the society as this marriage contract is taken advantage of by bad people, because a woman could claim that a boyfriend is a husband. It also affects the children whose upbringing will be affected by their father’s absence.
2.
Some of those who said that it was permissible have retracted that view. Among the most prominent scholars who said that it was permissible were Shaykh Abd al-Azeez ibn Baaz and Shaykh Abd al-Azeez Aal al-Shaykh; and among the most prominent scholars who said that it was permissible and then retracted it was Shaykh al-Uthaymeen; among the most prominent scholars who said that it is not allowed at all was Shaykh al-Albaani.
3.
Those who said that it is permissible did not say that a time limit should be set as in the case of mut’ah. And they did not say that it is permissible without a wali (guardian), because marriage without a wali is invalid. And they did not say that the marriage contract may be done without witnesses or without being announced, rather it is essential to do one of the two.
Thirdly:
Opinion of the scholars concerning this type of marriage:
1.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked about Misyaar marriage; this kind of marriage is where the man marries a second, third or fourth wife, and the wife is in a situation that compels her to stay with her parents or one of them in her own house, and the husband goes to her at various times depending on the circumstances of both. What is the Islamic ruling on this type of marriage?
He replied:
“There is nothing wrong with that if the marriage contract fulfils all the conditions set out by sharee’ah, which is the presence of the wali and the consent of both partners, and the presence of two witnesses of good character to the drawing up of the contract, and both partners being free of any impediments, because of the general meaning of the words of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “The conditions that are most deserving of being fulfilled are those by means of which intimacy becomes permissible for you” and “The Muslims are bound by their conditions.” If the partners agree that the woman will stay with her family or that her share of the husband’s time will be during the day and not during the night, or on certain days or certain nights, there is nothing wrong with that, so long as the marriage is announced and not hidden.”
Fataawa Ulama al-Balad al-Haraam (p. 450, 451) and Jareedah al-Jazeerah issue no. 8768, Monday 18 Jumaada al-Oola 1417 AH.
However, some students of the Shaykh said that he later retracted the view that it is permissible, but we could not find anything in writing to prove that.
2.
Shaykh Abd al-Azeez Aal al-Shaykh (may Allaah preserve him) was asked:
There is a lot of talk about misyaar marriage being haraam or halaal. We would like a definitive statement about this matter from you, with a description of its conditions and obligations, if it is permissible.
He replied:
“The conditions of marriage are that the two partners should be identified and give their consent, and there should be a wali (guardian) and two witnesses. If the conditions are met and the marriage is announced, and they do not agree to conceal it, either the husband, the wife or their guardians, and he offered a waleemah or wedding feast, then this marriage is valid, and you can call it whatever you want after that.”
Jareedah al-Jazeerah, Friday 15 Rabee’ al-Thaani 1422 AH, issue no. 10508.
3.
Shaykh al-Albaani was asked about Misyaar marriage and he disallowed it for two reasons:
(i)
“That the purpose of marriage is repose as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect” [al-Room 30:21]. But this is not achieved in this kind of marriage.”
(ii)
“It may be decreed that the husband has children with this woman, but because he is far away from her and rarely comes to her, that will be negatively reflected in his children’s upbringing and attitude.”
See: Ahkaam al-Ta’addud fi Daw’ al-Kitaab wa’l-Sunnah (p. 28, 29).
4.
Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) used to say that it was permissible, then he stopped saying that because of the negative effects, as it was poorly applied by some wrongdoers.
Finally, what we think is:
That if Misyaar marriage fulfils the conditions of a valid marriage, namely the proposal and acceptance, the consent of the wali and witnesses or announcement of the marriage, then it is a valid marriage contract, and it is good for some categories of men and women whose circumstances call for this type of marriage. But this may be taken advantage of by some whose religious commitment is weak, hence this permissibility should not be described as general in application in a fatwa, rather the situation of each couple should be examined, and if this kind of marriage is good for them then it should be permitted, otherwise they should not be allowed to do it. That is to prevent marriage for the sake of mere pleasure whilst losing the other benefits of marriage, and to prevent the marriage of two people whose marriage we may be certain is likely to fail and in which the wife will be neglected, such as one who will be away from his wife for many months, and will leave her on her own in an apartment, watching TV and visiting chat rooms and going on the internet. How can such a weak woman spend her time? This is different from one who lives with her family or children and has enough religious commitment, obedience, chastity and modesty to help her be patient during her husband’s absence. [website: zawaj]
And Allaah knows best.
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# Misyar Marriages
Misyar Marriages: a Puzzle or a Solution?
By Aisha Dahiru Atta – 18 March 2012
(Aisha Dahiru Atta is a mother and a wife, and the co-founder of an Islamic school. She runs workshops on parenting and Islamic education in Nigeria
. She has a degree in sciences and is working on a master degree in teaching.)
For anyone who has ever watched a toddler who has just begun learning motor skills trying to put a puzzle together, you might relate to what I personally call “the mommy itch.” This is the “itch” you get watching your babies attempt new stuff: the one that makes you want to keep them upright when they are taking their baby steps and stumbling all over the place, the one that makes you want to sit in class with them on the first day of school and in this case, the one that makes your hand hover and itch to move your children’s hands ever so slightly so that they can fit the star-shaped puzzle piece into its right slot and stop trying to force it into the circle shape!
Well, I felt a very strong mommy itch when I read an article by Mariam Al Hakeem in Gulf News online (21 May 2005) called, “Misyar Marriages Gaining Prominence Among Saudis.” Luckily, this time I get to indulge my itch.
What Is Misyar Marriage?
Misyar marriage seemingly is a new phenomenon in Saudi where, as in most of our Muslim Ummah everywhere, there is an alarming rise in the number of unmarried women. In her article, Mariam Al Hakeem wrote
Misyar is described as a form of marriage in which the wife gives up her rights offered under the religion, including the right to have the husband living with her in the same house and providing her with necessary expenses. In short the woman gives up the right to have an independent home. The husband may come to see her at her parent’s home at whatever time he chooses for himself, or at a time agreed by the two.
In Saudi Arabia
, the dowry paid by most men is exceedingly high and, hence, many of them simply cannot afford to marry one, never mind more than one, wife. Dowries in
In Nigeria
where I come from, the amount of dowry varies from tribe to tribe but is usually not so high as to be such a discouraging factor for marriage. Yet this form of marriage also occurs here with the difference being that the couple still live together but the woman becomes maintainer of the home. In every way. Is this misyar?
The Quran says:
(And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell (live) in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Undoubtedly, in these are signs for those who reflect.) (Ar-Rum 30:21)
(But do not make a secret contract with them except in terms honorable, nor resolve on the tie of marriage till the term prescribed is fulfilled.) (Al-Baqarah 2:235)
The above verse (2:235) is referring to widows in the period of `iddah, but I refer to it because Allah Most High clearly talks about approaching women with honorable intentions and terms. These terms have been stated in numerous verses in the Quran and expanded on in the Prophets Sunnah. The different but complementary roles of the man and woman in marriage are very clear in the Quran and Sunnah. The man maintains the home and the woman takes care of it and the family. History, though, has recorded that our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) married Khadijah when she possessed far more wealth than he. But they did not live apart. They shared a roof, a home, and a life until her death 24 years later.
It cannot be argued that times have changed and in numerous parts of the world women are economically empowered, more so than the men in many cases. In the West, if the woman takes on the financial responsibility of the family, then the man will usually adopt the role of homemaker. This arrangement affords a balance of roles and a continuation of the family unit itself.
Women Giving Up on Themselves
When we encourage women to give up the rights afforded them by Allah Most High, are we not in danger of doing far more damage to the Islamic family and our value system than we could ever foresee? My personal opinion is that we already have far too many seemingly “functional” families that are functioning dysfunctionally. The problems are numerous and would necessitate another article entirely, but they cut across the many geographical divides of our Ummah: absentee parents, consumerism, media and pop influences, and so on.
When we make it possible for a man to simply visit his wife when and if he pleases at either his or her convenience without any of the expected responsibility, then how are the man and woman to form a bond that is in the way of Allah Most High? When they have children, will he also visit his them only at times that are convenient to him? More importantly, at this point will the woman still bear the sole responsibility of sheltering, feeding, as well as rearing the children in the way of Islam?
There are, of course, many questions to be asked of this prescribed solution to spinsterhood, but the most important one would have to be whether it is legal in Shari`ah. I will not attempt pretence at knowledge of the Shari `ah that would qualify me to answer that, but I most certainly feel it bears serious looking into.
Al Hakeem’s article cites quotes prominent Saudi scholar Shaikh Abdullah Bin Sulaiman Bin Menie, who is a member of the Supreme Ulama Council, as saying that misyar is legal since it meets the requirements for a lawful marriage under Islam.
She writes
Shaikh Menie said the conditions agreed by the wife do not affect the validity of the marriage and the wife can still demand her full rights, including having the husband live with her and provide for her expenses. The husband in this case is free to agree to her terms or opt for divorce, he added.
He cited the case of Al Sayida Souda, one of the wives of Prophet Mohammad (Peace Be Upon Him), who agreed to give up her right of having the Prophet spend every alternate night with her in favour of the Prophet’s other wife, Al Sayida Aisha.
In Muhammad, His Life Based on the Earliest Sources, Martin Lings (may Allah have mercy on him) writes that the reason Sawdah (Souda) gave up this right was her age. She was old and, recognizing the Prophet’s fondness for `A’ishah, gave up her nights to `A’ishah willingly (272). The Prophet still maintained and took care of Sawdah in every other way, in his home.
Impact on Family
Doubtless, the issue of spinsterhood in our Ummah is one that bears scrutiny. But what of the issue of fairness, kindness, and the indisputable significance of the family in our quest to seek the pleasure of our Most Forbearing and Merciful Creator, Allah Most High? The learned Sheikh Menie says the woman in misyar may later demand her rights and the man may choose to divorce her if he cannot grant them; how can she come back to demand what she willingly gave up? Is Allah Most High not Most Wise in granting those rights in the first place and not making provision for this voluntary sacrifice?—which is only on her part, mind you.
In a situation where the man has fallen on hard times or the like, there is everything right in the woman easing his burden if she is able to do so. But I do not see this form of marriage as such, since the woman does not share a roof with him or enjoy his guardianship in any form right from the start.
Marriage today is truly difficult enough, even practiced as the Prophet’s Sunnah teaches. The first and biggest casualties when there is a problem, continue to be our children, our Ummah, and, by natural progression, our deen. Legalizing a variation on what Allah Most High has allowed and our beloved Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught has only ever led to the weakening of our Ummah. History has shown this and we continue to see it.
But Allah Most High alone knows best.
In satisfying my mommy itch, I beg the forbearance of my brothers and sisters. My hand still hovers over this puzzle and I humbly ask that I ever so gently shift the star towards its position on the board by suggesting the simplest beginnings of a possible solution: Let’s pay the dowries exactly as enjoined by Allah Most High and taught by our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him).
Sources: Martin Lings, Muhammad: His Life Based on the Earliest Sources, 1983.
[islamonline.net]
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Misyar Marriage: Legalized Promiscuity?
Zawaj.com - 2 May 2012 #
Editor’s Note: I am against misyar marriage, as I think it is damaging to women and to the family, and robs women of the rights given to them by Islam.
In California
A Muslim woman with no resources and few options should never be asked to forfeit the rights that have been granted to her by Allah SWT.
I realize there are numerous social and economic reasons why this this has become a growing trend in parts of the Muslim world.
I believe we must address those reasons and create a climate where it is easy and encouraged for Muslims to marry in the normal Islamic way.
However, the opinions expressed in the article below (and the comments about “Wahhabis” etcetera) are those of the author alone, and do not necessarily express the views of Zawaj.com.
Misyar Marriage: Prohibition does not eliminate promiscuity
BY RAFIA ZAKARIA, APRIL 5, 2010, altmuslimah.com
A Guardian report, published in August 2009 regarding the prevalence of misyar marriage in Saudi Arabia
In simple terms, a misyar marriage is the Wahhabi (we will use the term Sunni from here on) counterpart of the Shi’a mutaamarriage. The misyar or “traveler’s” nikah is carried out through normal Sunni Muslim contractual procedures and involves a waiver of certain rights, predominantly by the wife.
Under misyar, the husband and wife retain their homes and arrange for visits for a certain number of nights. The husband relinquishes his right to unlimited sexual access (otherwise assumed in Saudi law) and housekeeping (since the wife does not live with him). The wife, predictably, gives up much more, including her right to the equal attention of the husband (in case of polygamy) and her right to maintenance or nafaqah and housing. In the event of children born to the union, custody goes to the father or his family after age seven.
Misyar is routinely presented as a pragmatic solution to sate the sexual appetites of men in a society where sexual promiscuity is strictly prohibited and even prosecuted through hadd punishments. The argument in favor of misyar normally runs along the following lines: misyar marriage allows those who are unable to provide a home or support a wife full-time an opportunity for female companionship, broadly interpreted.
The female beneficiaries of this “marriage lite” are supposedly the hapless spinsters, divorcees and other marginalized women who otherwise have no hope of male attention or companionship. Through this arrangement, they too can have a shot at marriage, though without most of the rights. Misyar, while socially unpalatable to Saudi jurisprudence because it showcases the centrality of male sexual appetites in Saudi culture, is presented as the low-budget alternative to traditional marriage, which appears to be reserved for virginal brides and rich men.
Misyar then is marriage for discarded women and economically unstable men. Instead of agonizing over the gender iniquities of a system that treats widows and divorcees as unworthy of marriages in which their rights and human dignity are respected, a “lower” form of marriage has been invented to allow them a chance at having some male companionship. The sociological aspects of the fact that these women continue to be marginalized and treated as unworthy are left unquestioned.
Further arguments for misyar marriages focus on their legal defensibility. Shaikh Yusuf Al Qaradawi, quoted in the Guardian report, instructs Muslims to look at such marriages as a “legal relationship between a man and a woman.” The Sheikh requests that a misyar marriage be evaluated on the grounds that it is a contract between a man and a woman that is sanctioned by religion in that the limited liabilities and duties of both parties are clearly stated by both and hence known to and agreed upon by both. This argument rests on the legal premise that when conditions of a contract are explicit, consented to by both parties and within the parameters set by the religion’s tenets, the ensuing contract is then rendered legitimate and binding.
Yet the irony of this line of reasoning is that the legal argument makes no mention of the completely unequal bargaining power of the two parties and the fact that the women have little power to insist on any condition being stipulated in the contract. The fact that a woman acquiesces to a marriage that provides her with fewer rights than those she would be entitled to otherwise, is a testament to her inferior bargaining power both as a contracting party and as a citizen within a patriarchal society. To argue that the contract should be evaluated entirely as a legal entity between two parties consensually coming to an agreement, is to ignore the very gender inequality that led to the creation of the legal instrument in the first place.
Some attention is due also to the moral aspects of misyar marriage. Strictly prohibitive societies like Saudi Arabia
The existence of misyar marriages and the fact that they are being advertised on websites similar to western ones proposing sexual flirtations exposes the hollowness of the idea that prohibition eliminates the desire for promiscuity. In the case of Saudis, misyar marriages demonstrate that sexual promiscuity or the desire for “no strings attached” relationships has been far from stamped out. Instead, legal loopholes, under the sanction of faith, have been found to justify un-sated desires.
Finally, there are the tangible human costs of such legal loopholes that cater to male libidos and further subjugate women into destructive choices. In 2008, Saudi Arabia
Relegated to periphery of society due to the personal tragedies, these women are victimized first by the widespread social denial of their inferiority and second by a legal fiction that uses their misery as a means for providing sexual gratification through a version of marriage that denies what few rights they would be provided with otherwise.
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# SHIA VIEW:
Mutah and Misyar
April 24, 2012
Mutah
1) The legality of temporary marriage
Fixed-term marriage is a type of union in which the couple decides beforehand the period of time for which it will last, after which the marriage will come to an end, without a divorce. In Shia fiqh, it is permissible to be contracted with a Muslim, or a Kitabi woman. After the marriage a 45-day iddah is to be observed, contrary to what some of the Wahabi sheiks have been insinuating – that Shias do not believe in iddah for Mutah. No Shia scholar from the old and the new have ever made such a claim!
Imam al-Sadiq was asked about the 'iddah of Mutah, to which he said, “45 days, or a proper menstrual cycle.”
(Wasail al-Shia, Hurr al-Amili, volume 21, page 52)
The Quran
This type of union has a Quranic basis, and to the surprise of many of the Sunnis, has been legislated in the book of Allah, in the following verse, known as the verse of Mutah:
[Forbidden to you] are married woman, except what your right hand possesses. This Allah has written for you, and all other women besides these are permitted to you, so that you may seek them out with your wealth, seeking chastity and not fornication. So when you have contracted temporary marriage with them, then give them their due. There is no sin on you for whatever you agree to after this. Indeed, Allah is the Knowing, Wise. (4:24)
This verse alone should be sufficient to destroy the Wahabi claims that Mutah is nothing more than a form of prostitution. If it was immoral, then how could it possible be allowed in the Holy Quran. Surely we seek refuge from such blasphemy! All too often, the opponent will try and wriggle out of the conundrum he has found himself in by claiming the verse is not referring to Mutah at all, because the word used is “istamta’tum” (done Mutah with), but which can also be taken simply to mean ‘seek pleasure from’. However, this does not match with the traditional Sunni exegesis and arguments.
Abu Nadhra narrated:
I read for Ibn Abbas, may Allah be pleased with him, “Then as to those whom you sought enjoyment from, give them their dowries as appointed” and he said to me, ““Then as to those whom you seek enjoyment from for a prescribed time.” I said, “We do not read it like that.” Ibn Abbas said, “By Allah, it was revealed like that.”
This hadith is authentic to the standards of Muslim.
(Mustadrak, Hakim, Volume 2 Page 276 and was declared authentic by Dhahabi in his Takhlis)
The above authentic narration demonstrates two things. Firstly, to the testimony of the great companion Abdullah Ibn Abbas, 4:24 is indeed referring to temporary marriage, and he was very clear on this. Secondly, one notices that Ibn Abbas added the term “for a prescribed time” (ajilin musama) to the verse. We ask our Sunni brethren, is this not tahreef which you continuously accuse us of believing in?
Furthermore, in both Tafseer Ibn Kathir and Tafseer al-Kabeer Volume 3 on page 95, we see that they both hold the verse is referring to temporary marriage, and this is the mainstream classical view held my most Muslims.
Now that we have ascertained the subject of 4:24, we move on to the next retarded argument put forth by our beloved brethren. Was the verse abrogated? It is claimed that 4:24 was abrogated by the following verse:
“As for those who guard their private parts except from their spouses or what their right hand possess” (23:5)
To this our simple reply is, 23:5 is a Makkan verse and 4:24 is a Medinite verse. So this Sunni argument does not tally chronologically.
Furthermore, in an authentic hadith recorded by Imam Suyuti in his Tafsir, we find the testimony of Imam Ali that the verse was not abrogated. It is often claimed by the Sunnis that the supposed silence of the Imams on the legitimacy of Mutah proves they agreed with it being forbidden. What silence? There are hundreds of traditions in which the Imams, including Ali, defend the Islamic law and oppose what is halal being made haram:
Narrated Abdulrazaq and Abu Dawoud in (book) Nasikh and narrated ibn Jareer from al-Hakam that he was asked whether the verse on Mut'ah has been abrogated, he said: "No, Ali said that if it were not Umar forbidding it, no one would commit (the sin) of fornication except the wretched.”
(Tafseer Dur al-Manthur, Volume 2 page 140)
The above tradition has been transmitted with an authentic isnad, Muhammad bin al-Muthna was labelled trustworthy by Imam Dhababi. Muhammad bin Jafar is one of the most accurate narrators in the words of Dhahabi, as was Shuba Ibn Hajjaj and Al-Hakam bin Utebah al-Kindi (refer to Mizan al ’Itidal fi Naqd al-Rijal)
Hadith
Moving on, we would like to take a look at the status of temporary marriage during the lifetime of the Holy Prophet Mohammed.
The following are a selection of hadiths from Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim on this issue:
Sahih Bukhari, volume 7, Book 62, Number 13o:
Narrated 'Abdullah:
We used to participate in the holy battles led by Allah's Apostle and we had nothing (no wives) with us. So we said, "Shall we get ourselves castrated?" He forbade us that and then allowed us to marry women with a temporary contract and recited to us: -- 'O you who believe ! Make not unlawful the good things which Allah has made lawful for you, but commit no transgression.' (5.87)
Sahih Muslim, book 007, Number 2874:
Abd Nadra reported: While I was in the company of Jibir, a person came and said: There is difference of opinion amomg Ibn Abbas and Ibn Zubair about two Mut'as (benefits, Tamattul in Hajj and temporary marriage with women), whereupon jibir said: We have been doing this during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (way peace be upon him), and then 'Umar forbade us to do so, and we never resorted to them.
Sahih Muslim, book 008, Number 3249:
Jabir b. 'Abdullah reported: We contracted temporary marriage giving a handful of (tales or flour as a dower during the lifetime of Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and durnig the time of Abu Bakr until 'Umar forbade it in the case of 'Amr b. Huraith.
Sahih Muslim, book 008, Number 3247:
Salama b. al. Akwa' and Jabir b. Abdullah reported: Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) came to us and ordered us to contract temporary marriage.
The above hadiths highlight three important points: It was indeed Umar who forbade Mutah and that many companions opposed this, points we shall get to later, and thirdly the Prophet actively permitted, nay encouraged, his followers to do Mutah. This is important as when we put forth these hadiths to Sunnis, the usual point they make is, “Well, alcohol was also allowed during the early days of Islam but was banned later. Likewise, Mutah was allowed but was banned later at Khaybar.” Our reply is simple. Look at the below hadiths. Do we ever read the Prophet advising or ordering his companions to drink alcohol? Never, God forbid.
Abdul Malik Ibn Rabe’ Ibn Sabra al-Juhni, narrates from his father, from his grandfather, that he said: The Messenger of Allah ordered us to do Mutah in the year of the conquest upon entering Makkah”.
(Sahih Muslim 3490, Book of Marriage)
In the Mohammed Muhsin Khan, the above hadith’s translation was deliberately adulterated, and the word “ordered” was changed to “permitted”, whilst we can clearly see in the Arabic original, the word “amarna” is used, which means ‘ordered us’. Now, the question we pose is, “Will the Prophet of God, the best of creation, ever ORDER his companions to commit prostitution or commit an immoral act?” Surely not, just like he did not order or even encourage his companions to drink alcohol during the days it was permitted. A similar narration is found in Fakhr Razi’s tafsir.
Imran Ibn Husain narrated, “The verse of Mutah was revealed in the book of Allah, and there did not came any other verse after that to abrogate it; and the Prophet ordered us to do it, so we did it at the time of Allah's Apostle”
(Tafseer al-Kabeer, Razi)
The Companions and Mutah
To the surprise of the Sunnis who we have debated with, the companions of the Holy Prophet used to have similar debates with regards to the legitimacy of Mutah. This is proof that Mutah is a matter of jurisprudence, which the Muslims, Sunni and Shia, disagree upon, just like other matters over which there are disagreements between the Sunnis themselves and their multiple schools of jurisprudence. How can the Sunnis claim that Mutah is immoral, and how can the Sunnis laughably and pathetically claim, that Shiism is immoral and wrong, due to the consensus it has reached over Mutah, when the companions who are considered by the Sunnis all to be guiding stars and pious upright individuals, debated over this issue and some of them ruled on Mutah’s legitimacy.
The list of companions who permitted this is extensive, but Ibn Hazm, the Wahabi darling, lists some of them:
“After the Prophet Mohammed’s death, Mutah was considered to be permissible by Ibn Mas’ood, Muawiya, Abu Sa’eed, Ibn Abbas, Salama, the sons of Ummaya Ibn Khalaf, Jabir, Amr Ibn Huraith…and from the tabi’een (second generation of Muslims) it was considered permissible by Tawoos, Saeed Ibn Jubayr, Ataa’, and all the jurists of Makkah.”
(Muntaqa, Volume 2, Page 520)
All the early scholars of Makkah!!! Ibn Abbas, the scholar of this ummah! etc. How come when these people say Mutah is halal, the Sunnis claim it is a legitimacy exercise of ijtehad, but when the Shia reach similar verdicts, they are labelled the worst of labels, and are attacked in public forums and universities and literature.
Ibn Abbas
Ibn Abbas was one of the most prominent companion to consider Mutah legitimate, and his disciples Saeed Ibn Jubayr and Tawoos reached similar rulings, and this latter fact is admitted by the Islam Online website, run by Sh.Qaradawi.
Ibn Hajar writes in Fathul Bari fi Sharh Sahih al-Bukhari:
Ibn Batal said: “The People of Mecca and Yemen
narrated from Ibn Abbas that Mutah is permissible. It is narrated by a weak chain that Ibn Abbas revoked its permissibility. His considering Mutah to be permissible is more verifiable, and that is the school of the Shia.”
(Fathul Bari, Ibn Hajar, Volume 9 Page 73)
Sahih Muslim, book 007, Number 2854:
Muslim al-Qurri reported: I asked Ibn Abbas (Allah be pleased with them) about Tamattu' in Hajj and he permitted it, whereas Ibn Zubair had forbidden it. He (Ibn 'Abbas) said: This is the mother of Ibn Zubair (Asma’ Bint Abu Bakr) who states that Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) had permitted it, so you better go to her and ask her about it. He (Muslim al-Qurri said): So we went to her and she was a bulky blind lady and she said: Verily Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) permitted it.
Asma Bint Abu Bakr, as we can see, from the above hadith was referred to by Ibn Abbas as he was debating Mutah! Why was this? Because Asma’ herself did Mutah with Zubayr Ibn Awwam, one of the Ashara Mubashara bil Jannah in Sunni hadith, and of this marriage two sons were born!
Yes, indeed this marriage took place in the period Sunnis admit Mutah was permissible, but if it is indeed prostitution or immoral, how could the daughter of the great companion Abu Bakr do it? Did Abu Bakr raise his daughters to be prostitutes? Is this what the Sunnis accuse him of? We say, no, Asma was merely doing something halal, but why don’t the Sunnis label her a whore, astaghfurillah!
(Reference: Tafseer Kabeer, Volume 3 p. 95, Sunan al Kabeer, Bayhaqi, Volume 7, page 5)
Our brothers might then say, Asma’ and Zubayr were still affected by the Jahiliya mentality. We reply by saying, this marriage occurred in Medina
, 15 or 16 years after they converted: years after the boycott, the hijra, Badr and other significant issues in the history of Islam. Is it seriously feasible to claim these two prominent individuals had yet to give up their Pre-Islamic penchant for “prostitution and immorality”, as the Sunnis put it. Furthermore, Asma’ was only 14 when she converted to Islam.
The Sunnis will say, ‘Yes Ibn Abbas did initially believe in the permissibility of Mutah, but then recanted his view after Imam Ali briefed him on this’, and will point to a hadith in Sahih Muslim where Imam Ali and Ibn Abbas discuss this issue. We completely knock down this fairy tale of Ibn Abbas recanting his view, by pointing to the following hadith. Here it is said that Abdullah Ibn Abbas is blind. However, he was not blind during the lifetime of Ali, and only lost his eyesight towards the end of his life!
Sahih Muslim, book 008, Number 3261:
'Urwa b. Zabair reported that 'Abdullah b. Zubair (Allah be pleased with him) stood up (and delivered an address) in Mecca saying: Allah has made blind the hearts of some people as He has deprived them of eyesight that they give religious verdict in favour of temporary marriage, while he was alluding to a person (Ibn 'Abbas). Ibn Abbas called him and said: You are an uncouth person, devoid of sense. By my life, Mut'a was practised during the lifetime of the leader of the pious (he meant Allah's Messenger, may peace be upon him), and Ibn Zubair said to him: just do it yourselves, and by Allah, if you do that I will stone you with your stones.
Alternative forms of Mutah in Sunnism
Many of the Sunni men of the cloth have legislated and authorized the institution of Misyar, which is the latest craze in Saudi Arabia
and
It is the nightmare of women’s right activists, and it is indeed ironic that many Sunnis would like to demonise Mutah when they themselves practice and permit a practice which is nothing more than a visiting man’s marriage.
What misyar involves is a man making a misyar contract with a woman, and he will not be entitled to offer her any maintenance, money or other financial duties. In other words, there are no strings attached and the man need not worry about providing for the women. Now, this man can visit the woman as much as he wants, or as little as he wants, and whenever he visits her, he merely derives sexual pleasure from her, and leaves her until the next time, which can be several months later. In other words, it can involve treating women like a piece of meat.
The Arab Newspaper, Arab News, writes:
To some, it’s an unthinkable act… Those who would not consider it for themselves would not allow it for kin, be it sisters, brothers, sons or daughters. However, among the men who would consider it themselves, only two would find such a marriage acceptable for a female relative… More than 86 percent of the women 20-40 would not even consider such a marriage for themselves… Most of the women respondents called it “legal prostitution” or objected to the lack of women’s rights in misyar marriages… such marriages are not always blissful. Former and current misyar spouses said it can become a nightmare if pregnancy results from the union or if there are already children from former marriages… “Unfortunately, misyar marriage has made it easier for irresponsible, immature individuals to enter a relationship that is supposed to be based on credibility, reliability and respect,” said Abu Zaid, an elderly marriage official. “This isn’t the case. It’s treated as a temporary solution for lust… Many parents and children of misyar wives stated that they felt the woman as being sold short in such a marriage.
Marriage with the Intention of Divorce
In the 1990s Bin Bazz, the esteemed Wahabi theologian and Mufti of Saudi Arabia, issued an edict permitting a man to marry a woman, whilst intending to divorce her and not disclosing this intention to her. The fatwa is as follows, and can be viewed on his Arabic site, binbaz org sa.
To this we say, Allahu Akbar Kabeera. How dare the Wahabis vilify Mutah when their liege-lord Bin Bazz permitted an act which any individual can see is immoral to the first order. In Mutah, both parties are fully aware of the actions, and the women agrees to the date of expiry etc. whereas in that marriage, the women is being deceived. She is deceived into getting married and fulfilling half her religion whilst all the man is interested in is a short-term relationship before leaving the poor women.
La Howla
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